twenty year old college student. take everything with a grain of salt and ignore pretentious segments. any political views do not represent my nonexistent employer
contact: tetsuwanatom2005@gmail.com
anilist: https://anilist.co/user/atomx
lastfm: https://www.last.fm/user/emanon29582
Interests include (but are not limited to): biology, 2000's menswear, mountain climbing, coffee, graphic t-shirts, coal mining in appalachia, the right length for a shirt sleeve under a blazer, france, the entirety of the north american continent, archiving, pens (mechanical and ballpoint), magazines, political extremism, dragonflies, juvenile delinquency, shibuya-kei, the american frontier, social role theory, balconies, the sea, video games, roadtrips..
favorite authors: Cormac McCarthy, Kobo Abe, Yukio Mishima, John Williams, David Foster Wallace
favorite mangaka: Jiro Matsumoto, Daisuke Igarashi, Endo Hiroki, Hideki Arai, Nishioka Kyoudai, Taiyou Matsumoto, Makoto Ojiro, Jiro Taniguchi, Hitoshi Ashinano
I was going to make a neocities website but I am too lazy and stupid to learn html.
The human brain has a virtually unlimited memory capacity, around 2,5 million gigabytes of digital memory (though I have no understanding of how much that actually is) the internet tells me. Still I find myself forgetting things, and not just when grocery shopping or writing a vocab test. At the point of writing this I have read around fivehundred manga, watched countless movies, read too many books to count and listened to more music than some people do in their entire lifetime (I hope I don't sound too boastful).
Our thoughts exist purely in our brain in forms that we cannot fathom to understand. Neurons, axioms, impulses.. all the fancy words may explain processes but we seem to be far away from any genuine understanding about how our brain works and I'm not here to provide any answers either.
Like bubbles in a dish sink memories and thoughts float up and dissapear just as quickly. The only way to keep them in our brain is by trying to remember things and shoving the ideas deeper into our storage system (maybe in the future we can upload them on a disc and make it all easier). At the same time ideas have to be developed and properly thought out before being formulated into words and written upon a screen. Harvesting a fruit before it has become ripe is foolish.
Exactly for this reason this blog exists. To store my thoughts on media at certain points and preserve them. When I look at old reviews or texts I've written I often cringe or find myself displeased with how they were phrased, making me want to deleted them then and there. Still, as much as I may hate them, they serve their role as a reminder to who I once was, what I once felt and what I once thought. Maybe other people can gain new insights on things from the post (I hope..) but if not then this at least functions as a digital diary.
"What you write down becomes fixed. It takes on the constraints of
any tangible entity. It collapses into a reality estranged from the
realm of its creation. It's a marker. A roadsign. You have stopped to
get your bearings, but at a price. You'll never know where it might have
gone if you'd left it alone to go there. In any conjecture you're
always looking for weaknesses. But sometimes you have the sense that you
should hold off. Be patient. Have a little faith. You really want to
see what the conjecture itself is going to drag up out of the murk. I
dont know how one does mathematics. I dont know that there is a way. The
idea is always struggling against its own realization. Ideas come with
an innate skepticism, they don't just go barreling ahead. And these
doubts have their origins in the same world as the idea itself. And
that's not something you really have access to. So the reservations that
youyourself in your world of struggle bring to the table may actually
be alien to the path of these emerging structures. Their own intrinsic
doubts are sterring-mechanisms while yours are more like brakes."
(Cormac McCarthy - The Passenger)
PS: I'm no real revolutionist. All I do is sit in front of a computer while typing away at a keyboard. I just really like Jiro Matsumoto's 革命家の午後.
18/2/2026